My Brain Cannot Think Of A Title
by CuteXHellishXGal
Summary: Nor can it a summary.


a/n: I'm up and at it! Still Sasusaku, of course! Thought I'd do a bit humor this time, though it's not that funny……just a bit humorous to brighten your day….except of course if a loved one died, then keep mourning……

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters, nor the computer I used to type this, nor your socks, so don't sue me!

Legend:

You Suck- normal (""- dialogue)

'_You Suck'- thoughts_

**You Suck- flashback**

**You Suck- inner Sasuke**

------------------------------------

-sigh "What a dumb mission". A 17 year old Uchiha, who already was an ANBU captain at that time, just finished a mission to Suna several hours ago. But no, that wasn't what he was talking about, the apparently 'dumb mission' was the one got when he got back.

**Flashback:**

"**Good job, Uchiha" **

**Well, at least the fifth was happy about the outcome of the mission. It didn't mean that much anyway, since he always did a satisfactory job.**

"**You can tell your squad to go, but you stay, I need to talk to you"**

**He did what he was told and shooed, erm, led away his squad.**

"**Uchiha, I have another mission for you" **

'**_Well now, surprise, surprise…I knew something like this would come up'_**

"**This is very important"**

'_**Tch, says you'**_

**Then, the Hokage pulled out a very small bottle from her drawer, it was very small, like a medicine bottle, but a bit more slender, it had contents inside that he couldn't quite make out.**

"**You have to guard this with your life"**

'**_I have a life? - Wait, this is the very important mission?'_**

"**So, Hokage, this is it", the partially uninterested Sasuke said raising a brow**

"**Uchiha, you do not understand, this is very important"**

"**Yeah, ok……..sure…"**

"**I am serious Uchiha Sasuke, there is a reason I chose one of my best shinobi to do this! I swear Sasuke, if you do not fulfill this mission, I'll- I'll-"**

"**You'll what?" Sasuke just had to ask.**

"**I'LL DEMOTE YOU TO CHUUNIN AND MAKE SURE YOU"LL STAY LIKE THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR NINJA DAYS!"**

"**What, You can't do that!"**

"**I can and I will Uchiha!"**

……

"**Fine, how long do I have to guard this…'thing'"**

"**Just for three days, then you're all good"**

"**Hn. Fine"**

**End of Flashback**

**--**

This is just so stupid! He had to waste three good days of training to guard a stupid little bottle!

And to think this wasn't enough someone just _had_ to ruin his already ruined day.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Of course it was his pink-haired teammate/friend/girlfriend…

At first he didn't really want to ask her out, but seeing that was the only way to get rid of the idiotic women from hell a.k.a his fangirls. He asked Sakura to be his _girlfriend_

And of course, course, being the cold-hearted(and possibly heartless) Uchiha he was. They never really spend time together, except in missions, but that was different.

Yep, there were no dates, no hugs, no kisses, no…..anything……

And of course, course, course, he knew this would hurt her someway, I mean, she had to suffer from the wrath of the idiotic women from hell on her first days of being his girlfriend, and he didn't even help her, comfort her or well- do anything to her.

Little did he know that this was his time to pay.

"Sasuke-kun!"

'_Just ignore her look at something else, do something else'_

So, he started to play with the little bottle that he was supposed to protect.

"Sasuke-kun, are you listening to me?"

"…"

"Sasuke-kun!"

"…"

"**Sasuke-kun"**

"... "

"**Sasuke-kun!"**

"…-…"

That's it, she had _enough_!All she wanted was to spend time with her supposedly beloved boyfriend. It's not everyday she catches him not doing anything(really it's not)! And now he's ignoring her! What's a girl got to do to get attention from her boyfriend? Her very lame boyfriend, in fact. To think they've been n this relationship for 2 years and she still hasn't had her first date, first kiss, or even her first going-out-in-the-park-holding-hands experience! She is NOT going to take this shit from Sasuke anymore!

swipe

In one quick motion she grabbed the bottle he was so busy with and apparently more in love with than her, and got it out of Sasuke's reach.

'_Oh shit'_ "Sakura, give that back!"

"no"

"Sakura-"

"no"

"Sakura give that back, NOW!"

Sakura was a bit shocked from that outburst but regained her composure. Then she thought of the most evil thing….

"Kiss me first"

"What?"

"You heard me..."

"Sakura, I can't- I won't- Oh, I'll just take it from you"

Everyone knows Sasuke can beat Sakura in any fight, but Sakura had a small trick up her sleeve.

"Then take it."

Sasuke watched, terrified, as Sakura slipped the bottle in between her chest.

"What's wrong Sasuke-kun, I said take it" Sakura said while putting her arms behind her pushing herself more to him.

**Inner Sasuke**

'**Whoa, What an opportunity'**

'_What the- who the hell are you'_

'**I'm you dumbass'**

'_What? I thought I got rid of you'_

'**Nah, I just went to Hawaii for a vacation…I also found your lust there, and I thought I'd bring him here, say hi'**

'_So this is all you fault, I should really get rid of you!'_

'**Duuude, I never thought you'd take that one seriously, of course your all your feeling have been inside of you all along, ALL of your feelings'**

'_I refuse to think that I have ' lust' inside of me'_

**God, you are the most narrow-minded bastard I have ever met**

'_Hey! You're me as well!'_

**Whatever! Anyways, you might want to wake up for a while, the hot chick is talking to you.**

'_what are you-?'_

"Sasuke-kun, are you ok?"

"Wh-what?"

"Listen, if you're not going to take your dumb bottle then just say so, so we can both go home."

"Sakura, I need that bottle"

"I told you Sasuke-kun take it!"

His eyes strayed on her chest again. Oh, God, since when did she start to grow such big curves? He felt the heat rise up in his body, argh, damn hormones!

'**I don't know why you're cursing this is such a good offer she's giving you.'**

'What, you again!'

'**Yeah, I missed you too'**

'What the hell do you want!'

'**I want you to do what she's telling you to'**

'You mean take the bottle?'

'**Or kiss her, but I must say, what you said seems more fun!'**

'I can't do that idiot!'

'**Yeah you can, she's the one who said so, so just do it!'**

'_Are you crazy? She'll think I'm a pervert!'_

'**You're not?'**

'_Heck, NO!'_

'**Well, I beg to differ'**

'_Just SHUT UP!'_

'**OK, fine, I'll go….but I'll be back…apparently, 'patience' just shriveled up and died so I need to take over for a while…'**

'_Tch, Whatever'_

Sasuke's gaze went to Sakura again, she was looking at him expectantly.

"Sakura, why are you doing this?"

"Because"

"Because, what?"

"Because, if you don't know, then I won't tell you…"

"Sakura, that's just stupid."

"Says, you."

"Look, Sakura that bottle that you have in your …um…well… the bottle that you _have_ is very important, so, give it back."

"Yeah, 'very important', apparently, more important that me, huh?"

'_duh'_

"I can't believe you, Sasuke, recently I've been feeling that the only reason you ask me to be your girlfriend is to get rid of your fangirls!"

'_duh-er'_

"Well, honestly Sasuke, If this is the only way to get your attention, then I'm happy I'm doing it."

"Sakura-"

Sasuke was at complete loss of words…then his gaze strayed on her chest again…….'_looks so soft, so tender….wait, what?'_

'_Darn it, What was that all about?...Aaaargh! I blame it on the hormones, Why can't I just take the bottle and get it over with, That way, I can finish this mission and keep my rank…'_

'**And touch her breasts…'**

'_What the-, I thought you're supposed to take care of my patience?'_

'**Nah, 'kindness' took over, he wasn't doing anything anyway…come to think of it, he hasn't been doing anything for years'**

'_What's that supposed to mean?'_

'**I think it means you're not kind…..and you haven't been for years'**

'_Hey I can be kind!'_

'**Yeah, can be kind of stupid'**

'_Hey!'_

'**Anyway, I can't believe you're still stuck in this situation…you are soooo hopeless…'**

'_Am not!'_

'**Why don't you just do it, One swift motion and you're done!...or done for…whichever comes first…'**

'_You could be more helpful'_

'**Yeah, but you're hopeless, so why bother, You know, chunin doesn't sound so bad anymore…considering you're gonna be one for the rest of your life!'**

'_Just shut up, okay, I'll just get out of this situation alone!'_

'**Fine, but this I gotta see'**

"Sakura, just tell me what you want, so I can get that bottle back"

"What I want, Sasuke I want a mall filled with rainbow fountains, A spa filled with clones of Justin Timberlake as my attendants, I want to ride on rainbows and see leprechauns, I want pink prancing ponies in my garden, I want to ride unicorns to the stars, I want to own a country named 'Sakura', I want Naruto to stop talking forever, and I want a lot more things Sasuke, but none that you could give me…."

'_Urgh, why does this woman have to be so difficult?'_

'**You handled that well…except…NOTHING HAPPENED, look let me take care of this so we can both get on with our lives okay?'**

'_Fine, but don't do anything stupid, or so help me, I will attend therapy!'_

'**Fine, fine, no need for violence here!'**

'_Good, so remember, just get the bottle get out of there and then I take over again.'_

'**Yeah, yeah, I got that'**

'_**So 1,2,3- Switch'**_

"Wow, that felt good" (This is inner Sasuke, pretending to be him)

'**Now go there and get on with it!'**(This is the real Sasuke)

"Okay, fine"

"Umm, Sasuke, who are you talking to?"

Then, Sasuke(inner), looked at the owner of the voice, it was Sakura, looking a bit worried, and at the same time impatient.

'_Wow she looks even better from this view!'_(still inner)

'_Anyway, back to business '_

"Sakura, do you mind giving that bottle back now?"

"I don't want to"

"Hmm……even if I give you a kiss?" Then, he smiled sexily

"What?"

'**Yeah, what!'**

'_c'mon, this is the only way!'_

'**Are you crazy? You can't kiss her!'**

'_You want me to dig through her shirt instead?'_

'_NO!'_

'**Then this is the only way, she's sure to agree!'**

'_You can't do this!'_

'_Ignoring you!'_

"So, Sakura, do you agree?"

"Excuse me?"

"If I kiss you, you'll give me that bottle back."

"Hmm……okay, but under one condition."

"And what would that be?"

"I want it to be sweet and loving… not anything lame that feels forced."

"Okay then"

He held Sakura's shoulders and leaned down for the kiss, Sakura on the other hand rested her hands on his chest and closed her eyes.

'**Wait! Abort mission, abort mission, ABOOOOOOOOORT!'** _Killjoy._

Sasuke and Sakura's lips were centimeters from each other, Sakura leaned forward for the kiss but suddenly, in one swift action, Sasuke's hand left her shoulder and got the bottle from between her chest, then pulled back…way back.

Sakura was as red as a tomato, while Sasuke stared at the bottle in his hand(he and his inner self switched again), trying his best not to look at Sakura.

Then Sasuke took a deep breath and gathered all his courage to look at Sakura. She was still blushing- hard, but her eyes just stared into space, you couldn't tell if she was going to be angry burst out crying or maybe just stay like that and walk home.

"Sa-Sakura?"

Suddenly, her eyes started to well up with tears. _Oh Shit_

'_This is all, your fault!'_

'**What, me, You're the one who said abort mission, and I was so close, so I just took it!'**

'_But you made her cry!'_

'**Oh, like you care!'**

'_What, of course I care I lo- I, I-'_

'**See you finally admit it! Now go there, say you're sorry, and tell her you love her!'**

'_I can't!'_

'**Yeah, you can, or maybe you want me to do it for you again?'**

'_No way!'_

'**Then do it, Unless of course you're scared…'**

'_Fine!'_

Sasuke went to wear Sakura was then she started to burst out crying.

"I-sob- can't believe, -sob- you-sob-, you'd rather-sob- take the-sob- the bottle-sob- from -sob- from me -sob- than just-sob- kiss me! Do you-sob- hate-sob- me-sob- that-sob- much? -wail, cry, whimper, and sob-

"Sakura, it's not like that"

Sakura looked at him.

"Sakura, I'm so sorry…"

He held her chin to make her lok at him…….then leaned down for a…..kiss… Oh My God! Fireworks! Wedding Bells! Trumpets! Naruto…err…..back to Trumpets!

After they broke the kiss, Sakura stared at Sasuke, Emerald boring into Black. (cliché, I know, and now for the cheesy part)

"I love you, Sakura".

"I love you too"

Sasuke's world seemed to be a big blur, he pulled Sakura closer to him and he felt as f nothing mattered in the world, until-

Slip Crash Crack Spill

Uh-oh.

--------------------------->

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BROKE IT!"

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama, it just… happened."

"YOU BROKE A BOTTLE OF MY MOST EXPENSIVE NAIL POLISH!'

"I'm so sorry- wait, what? You threatened my rank….for your nail polish!"

"Let me level with you, what I threatened you, well,……I can't really do that…..well actually….that wasn't actually a real mission, I just made that up…and…..(Sasuke started to burn in anger). Hey, you can't blame me! You're the only one I can trust! And f I keep it here Tonton will mess with it and I have a date the day after tomorrow!"

'Hokage-sama…" Sasuke glared at her n the most deadly glare.

'**WHERE WILL YOU BE, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW?'**

'_shut up'_

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a/n: Well, there it is! I'm sorry if it's kinda lame, but I don't do well when my work time gets interrupted (and it was ehem due to _some_ people), I'd rather do my work in straight hours or else I lose my inspiration. Anyways, please review!...unless you don't have fingers, then don't strain yourself!


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